What has feet, but no legs? An alien.

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Q: You and a thousand other people are suddenly bursting in flames at a park, there is a big barrel of water just a few steps away from you, what do you do in order to save the people that truly matter? A: Stop drop and roll, duh!

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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What did the traffic light say to the car? Bye.

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the other kids at recess? I chopped her legs off.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

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What do you call the offspring of an elephant? A baby elephant.

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How did the little boy die? Malaria Why? He was poor. Why? A Jew stole his money.

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What do you call a bunch of spics playing soccer? Professional soccer players.

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To mama's so fat when she went to Dairy Queen she Ordered a blizzard.

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Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she knew there would be quaffles!

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Did You Hear about the Black Guy That went to College?....Neither Did I...

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Whats Barack Obama's favorite number ? 7

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Roses are red bullets are led if you don't take me back now i'll shoot you in the head!

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So an Alex Gedrose walks into a bar, and orders peanut butter and jelly toast on buttermilk with extra Linda on the side.

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Whats bigger than a toaster and smaller than an oven? ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .... .... . ... . . . ..... ...... ..... a microwave . ..... . ... ...

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what do you say to a woman on her rags? nothing.try and ignore it.you didn't hear this from me and we never talked.

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what's blue , and you can urinate on it ? a rim block.

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If your canoe is stuck in a tree with no headlights, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon. False, snakes don't have armpits

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how come the tadpoles dad told him he can't be a nurse? he has 2 b a frog!

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What did Tarzan say when the elephants came over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill!

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josh moran where your Bluetooth gone?

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The other day I went into the bathroom to take a poo, It was Glorious I flushed the toilet and everything.

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Girl, why are you crying? I'm not a girl, I'm a strawberry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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