Q: Why did sally fall off the swing? A: Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally! How did Sally die? She couldn't figure out how to open the fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a white guy in a mostly black neighborhood? His name.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what do call a girl with a waterslide nose? Ava Sherman

thumb_up thumb_down +6

So there's this girl who really wanted red socks. She goes to the store, socks are $2. Well, that sucks, she thinks. I only have $1. So she goes home and asks her mom for a buck. Sure, the mom replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my vacuum cleaner. So the girl fixes the vacuum cleaner, mom giver her the buck. The girl goes to the store, but wait. Socks are $3 now. Girl goes home, asks her dad for a buck. Sure, the dad replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my car. Girl fixes car, dad gives het a buck. Girls goes to store.Well damn, the socks are $4 now. She goes home and asks her brother for a buck. Sure, her brother replies. I'll give you a buck if you fix my computer. Girl fixes computer, brother giver her a buck. Girl goes to store and FINALLY buys the socks. She comes home. Mother dead. Vacuum cleaner exploded. For 1 month the girl mourns her mom. Finally she can wear her socks. Ah crap, car accident. After 1 month mourning her dad she can finally wear the socks. Well, turns out she can't. Brother dead cause of exploded computer. After yet another month of mourning, she can FINALLY wear her red socks. So she does. Suddenly the doorbell rings. The girl opens the door and there's a polar bear standing in front of her. What did the polar bear say? WELL NOTHING, BECAUSE POLAR BEARS CANNOT TALK!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Three examples of how santa is gay 1) he says HO HO HO 2) he sneaks into your house at night from going down the chimney 3) he knows when u r sleeping and he knows when u r awake BONUS............. Better not pout, you better not cry, better watch out im telling u why.........SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? Ten babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? He had escaped from his farm and didn't understand the laws of jaywalking.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you get a black man out of a tree? You help him down.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because its rayseans favorite number

thumb_up thumb_down +6

-What do you call a dog with no legs? -Call it whatever you want, it's not coming!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the 60 y/o man take erectile dysfunction pills? His doctor prescribed them.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

time to spruce up!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Steve Jobs die? Because he had cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the guy go to the store? He really doesn't want you to know every detail of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A hill billy went fishing

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What noise does a Chinese roller coaster make? Chink Chink Chink Chink chink.....

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q. What is worse than a worm in your apple? A. Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profits evenly.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he is no longer alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: toothpaste

thumb_up thumb_down +6

George Bush=Bush Dick Cheny=Dick Colin Powell=Colon Condoleezza Rice=Rice One of these doesn't belong here.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the baby die? Because I refused to feed it.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red, Violets are blue, when the bass droped, my balls did too.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops