Q: What did the newborn dumpster baby say to the raccoon? A: Nothing. Newborn babies cannot talk.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Rivkee Rivkee who? RIVKEEEEE FIRETRUCK!

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One time I said to my friend, "There are too many black people in this country." I forgot he was black.

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Why were you in an igloo? I don't know, why were you?

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How many Russians can you fit in a Mini Cooper? It depends on how big they are.

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Whats the diffrence between a white and a black guy? one of them is black

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So a dog walks into a bar.. well thats not true as most bars do not allow dogs.. oh..sorry.

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This week only, 2 for 1 misdemeanor shop lifting arrest. How can I do it? Because I can.

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what is worse than a guy pissed?

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Roses are red..... violets are blue...... I have a gun get in the van

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What's worse than the holocaust? nothing it was a terrible act in history

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Jamie Oliver eats a chip

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What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

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Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability

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A guy reads the bible Another guy shouts "spoiler alert, the main character dies"

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How many jews can you fit in a car? It depends on how many seats there are, but some could double-buckle and stuff like that to fit more if necessary.

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How many blondes did it take to screw in the lightbulb? Just one. She did a fine job.

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Your mom is so fat that her every day life if a struggle and she has to get gastric bypass surgery or else she is going to die

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What's up? Up Adverb: Toward the sky or a higher position. Preposition: From a lower to a higher point on (something); upward along: "I climbed up a flight of steps". Adjective: Directed or moving toward a higher place or position: "the up escalator". Noun: A period of good fortune. Verb: Do something abruptly or boldly: "she upped and left him". Synonyms: adverb. upward - upwards - aloft - above - upstairs - overhead preposition. on - upon - over - along - with adjective. rising noun. ascent - rise - upgrade verb. raise - enhance - increase - lift - rise

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Why did the chicken cross the road??? Suicide.

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What's the difference between a duck? Both legs are of equal length, especially the right.

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what did the home less man get for chrismas? cancer.

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What is the difference between tea pot and shinkansen? shinkansen is very quick train and tea pot is traditional piece of dishes..

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Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops