What do you call a black woman that's blind and has 1 leg? Handicapped

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A Jew finally tipped He was in a canoe

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What do you call a straight A student that takes 6 Vicodin's, 5 Percocet's, and 7 Adderalls? I don't know, but he will most likely die of drug overdose.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Neither of them talk due to the fact that they are muffins and are inanimate, therefore denying them the ability to talk.

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what do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? a stick

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Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? A: Because he had bladder control problems and feared he may ruin the first pair.

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What did Zeus say to Hades? Nothing. Both are mythological beings created by the Greek civilization to explain why many things in the world happened, mostly because of a lack of modern science.

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Two guys walk into A bar. The third one ducks.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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Q:What did the boy do when his girlfriend cheated on him? A:He broke up with her because cheating is wrong and he deserves better.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Red." "Red who?" "Red any good books lately?" Suddenly, the séance lost credibility.

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Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

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Q: What does Jerry Sandusky and bills have in common? A: They both come in the mail

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How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

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A man agreed with a camel. The camel didn't agree. ... (This joke does only make sense in the Dutch language.)

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Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house in her back yard? -No Neither did she

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, I have a retinal hemorrhage

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I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

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Why'd the littler girl fall of the swing? because a drunk driver ran through the swing, the little girl was killed. he was later charged with manslaughter.

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Why did Austin Bell smell like tuna? He had sea food at Joes Crab Shack

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If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

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an atheist and a christian meet in a bar they chat about football, order some pints, and have a really good night.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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