Okay, but lets write a contract, if you regret your decision at anytime, you get it all back, minus what I have spent of course, both I and my wife have always wanted to live in a house by the sea, hopefully you nearby. You know, I have never been truly happy because I thought I could change this world, now I know that I tried and failed, maybe I can change myself instead, they say that true change comes from within.

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What do you get when you cross a spider with a cow? A dead spider.

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what's bloody and sweet? A squashed mosquito sprinkled with sugar.

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Why is it good to date twenty eight year olds? Because there is twenty of them.

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A muslim, a priest, and a raabi walk into a bar. All three of them agree that it hurt.

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A dog was dying on the side of the road. I drove 50 meters ahead and saw it again. I was on shrooms.

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Why was the man picking his nose? Because he was born without one, and found one he liked.

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non poop

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Homosexualism is so gay man

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why did the boys run from Michael Jackson? because they thought he was a ghost

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How do you put 100 kids on a girls face ? skeet

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Hmmm, how would Sherlock Holmes solve a crime?... Oh wait. He doesn't exist.

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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an object in motion continues to stay in motion unless acted upon by an external force :)

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What's worse than a dead baby joke? A dead baby.

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Why did the boy die of Cancer? Because I took some radioactive chemicals and hen I feel like it I beat him with it.

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Sidney Crosby walks into a bar. Except its a metal bar like a pole so he gets another concussion.

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What were the pilots' of Malaysia Airlines Missing plane favourite programs? Lost...

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Why did the frog commit suicide? Because his mother was a typewriter

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to one tree? nailing 1 baby to ten trees.

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What did the fat man say to the Spaniard? Nothing. The Spaniard was skinny and so the fat man was jealous and shot him in the face.

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What's a bench painted red white and blue all over? An American BENCH.

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What did the one eyed boy say at the movie theater? 3D was a boy choice

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A man fell in a hole. He's dead now...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops