Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary.

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What's worse than having you're leg fall asleep? Getting Polio

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Q: What did the banana say as it was being eaten? A: Nothing. Bananas are inanimate objects and therefore are incapable of talking.

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

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Q. What do you get when you cross a bird with a human? A. Arrested.

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What's worse than tornadoes in the USA? Earthquakes in Japan.

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Once upon a time, there was a cat. He died.

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My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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a black guy a mexican guy and a puerto rican guy are driving together in a car whos driving? Whoevers car it is.

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Haikus are simple but sometimes they don't make sense refrigerator.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The police, your father just died in a boat accident.

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Have you ever had Ugandan food? Neither have they.

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How does your sister ride a bicycle? My sister does not have any legs.

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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hi little boy you want some candy i dont know do you want some candy you creeper

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There was a boy named Johnson. He was a happy boy who had a mother and father who loved. One day he didn't do his homework

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What did the Black man say to the prostitute? Your job makes the risks of getting AIDs and other STDs much higher than the average person's.

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit a talking Muffin."

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius!

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How do you confuse a blonde? Beat her with a spatula while in a mankini with a dildo up your ass!

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A black guy, a mexican, and an arab are all in the same car, Whos driving the car? The black guy because he politely offered and his friends were happy to ride with him.

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Why did the black man fall down the stairs? Because he was blind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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