Whats 9 inches long, pink, and makes women scream? A miscarriage OuO

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats worse than finding an actual joke on anti-jokes? A.I.D.S.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what has a hard shaft and an even harder head? A hammer

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why couldnt the african child eat enough food? he didnt have a mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Old Macdonald had dyslexia IE IE O

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I haven't read and I don't agree to the Terms of Service

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you stop an aboriginal from drowning? Take your foot off his head...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did one sausage become scared of the other sausage? The first Sausage said " Hello " and the second Sausage said " OMG a talking sausage!!!" ...Jk sausages dont talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red Violets are blue We decapitated some little children Now I'm in jail too.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? Well, the difference is quite obvious. one's a car, the other's a dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A duck walks ino a bar...... f*ck this sh*t im going to candy land.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's worse then mud on your shoes. Being assassinated by means of a dart to the throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks. The rest of the bar patrons are thoroughly confused.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's long, hard and full of semen? A penis

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why has 8 wheels and costs more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's better than 24-year-olds? Twenty 4-year-olds.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

"Do you like pie?" "No." "Do you like blueberries?" "No." "I have something you won't like." "Is it a blueberry pie?" "No, I shagged your wife last night".

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A) why did the black guy leave the bar B) cause he was tired and wanted to go home

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Can we still mine for gold in the American River? No, anyone seen mining for gold is considered a hobo and all the gold is cleared out by random people in the 17 century

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The pilot was a potato.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you drown a blonde? hold her head down until she stops breathing

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops