Your momma is so ugly that when she stepped on the mirror, it broke.

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Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

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Why did the kid fall off his bike? His mum threw a fridge at him.

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Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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Why is sally sad her parents abuse her daily

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Why didn't the plane crash... because of the wight male piloting it

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A- a tv

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why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

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How do you discover a gay snowman? If the carrot is in the ass.

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The other day a male African American approached me in a less than reputable neighborhood after dark and inquired as to whether or not I had a dollar which I could spare. I politely told him I didn't and apologized. He forgave me and we went our seperate ways.

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How many babies does it take to paint a barn? It depends on how hard you throw them

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Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

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What did the irishman say when he walked into a bar? Ouch

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how do you make a quiet person talk? you water-board them

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To return to the roost he had recently escaped.

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Why does Amy leave Dan? Dan gets hit by a bus.

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An Asian girl is playing with a rubber band. She accidentally slings it into her eye, cries, and receives immediate attention from her mother.

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What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

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Your mom is so nerdy that she probably went to college, got her degree, then found a very successful job in a field that she finds interesting.

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Dylan Hodge's mother touches her own butthole at night. Joshua Brown's sister rubs Josh's earlobes passionately. Brock is a fag. Jacob is Awesome. Daniel THINKS he's awesome. Jamie kills everyone. Apart from Jacob.

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why didn't sue come to her son's baseball game? because he doesn't play baseball, he lost his arms in a horrible plane crash. besides, sue died in that accident anyway.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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What did the basketball player do before he scored a basket? Shot the basket ball

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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