What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was the boy afraid? Because he had just seen his dog get ran over by a tractor

thumb_up thumb_down -5

three people walked into a bar and there was a blackman,a jew,a white man and a nazi bartendor which ones did he shoot? The black and the jew and the white man

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was it so hard for teachers to teach Tommy? Tommy is brain dead

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I hate weddings! Old people always poke u and say "ur next" so I've decided to do the same to them... At Funerals

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many jews can you put in a four seat car? two in the front two in the back.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

So a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order some wine and have an enjoyable evening.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Wanna know a Chuck Norris fact? He is 72 years old and likely to die soon

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the woman go in a elevator with Ray Rice? Because they were both going to the 25th floor and stairs would take too long.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Are tomatoes more scary than onions? No. They are not more scary than onions.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

i actually read the terms of service before i posted this

thumb_up thumb_down -5

your momma so fat, that she secretly crys every night, because she is so self concious about her weight. and has to talk to a therapist because shes bolemic and has suicidal thoughts, because she cant stand the way she looks

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many lesbians did Tiger Woods bang? None, his standards are much higher than that

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why couldn't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has parkinsons and therefore couldn't keep his hand steady.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

"Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A horse walks into a bar and asks the bartender "why the long face?" The bartender replies "this is the fourth time this week a horse walked into my bar and every time it happened i have to clean up a bunch of horse pooh!"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

One day a black man went and bought a car with his own hard-earned money.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Nero, listen, do not try to imply that you created the Iron man method, that was developed by many people over the duration of many years in the former underground society. You seem far too educated to be the savage you claim to be, if I told you that our people will do the uttermost to see if we can fix that eye of yours and succeed, will you forgive my failure and imperfections as a leader? Look at it this way, I am a leader, not a ruler, what my followers do is up to them, but if they cannot understand that they have to pay the consequences behind their actions, they have no place within the order, as for the expression "my order" it is simply what my many followers like for me to say, not because they are unwilling to take responsibility, but as a token of praise. Our articulations and means of expressing desire and such are very much the same, have you ever been part of our order?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you make a baby stop crying?you scream at it and throw it at wall

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What happened to the guy who dropped his soap in the prison shower? His friend picked it up for him.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what happened to the retarded dyslexic? he retard on his 60th birthday and took up gardening.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Would you like to go to my jinga party, if you do save the date 9/11?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops