Stop making fun of Stevie Wonder, you dont seen what he has.

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Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

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Whats big, red and will cause severe injuries possibly fatalities if it falls out a tree? A phone box

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What do you call a rapist who uses condoms and excessive lubricant? A Rapist.

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Who has, there are like... Well actually I might have watched them all, downloaded them in a torrent... A LEGAL torrent of course... NOT. Well, you get a hint, it looks a lot like Mickey Mouse, and its a trick question since Mickey Mouse was not actually drawn by Disney, so yeah.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday!

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A drunkard walked into a bar, and up to the bartender. He proceeded to **** the **** until he ******. I proceeded to break down in immense frustration over censorship.

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Your mom is so fat because she eats too much and is most likely incapable of controlling when to stop.

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There was three women stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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Why was the chubby bird that you were staring at you angry. Because you were looking at him.

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What do you feel inside after eating an entire class of pre-schoolers? A stomach ache

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate you so suck on poo.

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what is the difference between two trees? it doesn't matter because motorcycles don't have doors

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Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

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Why didn't John get a present for Christmas? Because John died eight months ago.

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Yo mama's like Darfur: Everyone feels bad for her, but nobody offers any substantial assistance.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

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Why wouldn't Leena sleep with Ole? Because she thought him to be a dumb, ugly, Scandinavian.

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When Hitler was a girl she had hyjenical warts and when she got older she had beast cancer.

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did you know hellen keller had a dog? niether did she

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

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A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops