Why did little Katie fall off her bike? Because the postman killed the bee hive.

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Knock Knock Who's There No-one your not very popular

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What would Walt Disney do if he were alive today? Gurgle and choke inside his cryogenic vault as liquid nitrogen flooded into his lungs.

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Curiosity killed the cat, Oh wait, I thought the dog did.

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What's the difference between a trash can full of dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

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lets bomb africa

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What did little John do when he was bored? He went on Anti-Joke

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How do you drown a blonde? Intentionally attempting to drown anyone, regardless of their hair color, is murder which is illegal and morally wrong to do.

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Your muma is so ugly she went to a ugly competition and got kicked out "no pros aloud".

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Is that your face or is your dog walking backwards.

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My aunt always said slow and steady wins the race She died in a fire

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An Asian couple walks into a bar, orders a few drinks, pays, and leaves

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why did the chicken cross the road............ why dont you tell me smartass

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Why did the man jump off the cliff? Because he suffered from chronic depression as a result of frequent drug abuse.

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How do you perform CPR on a black person. OK, first come down. I wish I could ask why you turned to Anit Jokes.com to ask this question, but this is serious. First, check for any air blockages using two fingers, then...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Umm... Why would it not?

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? Using teamwork and coordination, each can place one foot on the seat of the stool, and using each other for balance and support, they can all stand on the stool. The fact that they are gay is irrelevant.

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How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: Someone who just got stabbed to death reading the newspaper.

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A man walks into a bar. Since he was only moving at a slow walking pace, he was fine, no further events worth noting occured.

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What's the difference between a volleyball and a tree? They're both volleyballs except for the tree.

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Why was Nathan upset Because his sister died from an undiagnosed case of tuberculosis

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three black teenagers went to the cinema to watch twilight

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops