What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas? A visit from the Make a Wish Foundation and the opportunity to see her favorite band in concert. Unfortunately, she was very ill from the chemotherapy, and was unable to really enjoy herself at the concert. She passed away several days later, surrounded by family and friends.

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Q: Why cant Helen Keller drive? A: Because shes dead.

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A black guy walks up to a drug dealer. He asked the drug dealer for directions and went on with his life.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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A black man killed someone

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Why was the boy sad? Because his dog was brutally murdered and the man responsible painted his bedroom walls in the dogs blood.

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Whats big, hairy, and super long? My big toe you pervert.

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Roses are rde, violets are bule, I am dyslexic, how about you?

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If life throws you lemons Catch them

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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What is the hardest part of a vegtable? The wheel chair 0.o

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Q. Why does Hugo masturbate? A. To build muscle.

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A Mexican and a black person both jump off a bridge, who hits the water first? Neither, as all matter falls at the same rate, regardless of weight, size, or ethnicity.

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how do u unload the dishwasher? u take the dishes out!

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What's the difference between roast soup and pea beef? Nothing because neither of them are physically possible; you can't roast soup and you can't pee beef

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why did helen keller fall down the stairs A; i pushed her

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why are elephants gray? to tell them apart from blueberries.

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An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Hypothetical questions are a waste of time and you are not achieving your full potential by reading this during work.

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What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

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roses are black violets are gray im color blind

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How do you give a 90 year old woman a pap smear? You don't

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What do you call someone who can't move their arms or their legs A quadriplegic

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What do you call a man who just died 5 minutes ago? Dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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