Knock knock Who's there? Me. Idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

" I can't here you it's too dark!"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q. Why did the girl fall of the bridge A. Her dad pushed her

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Cause it was stapled to the cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A scottish man having fun

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Dani Barton = Stupid

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the sixteen year old girl get an abortion? She didn't want the responsibility of raising a child

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he wasn't invited.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you drown a blonde? Hold their head under water.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

penis

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What time is it? 10:58

thumb_up thumb_down +6

your all shit at jokes

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between a screwdriver and DJ Pauly D? One's a tool and one is an inanimate object.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the vegetarian eat for christmas? Food.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

you, me and i need to stop doing meth!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

arse

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

The Aristocrats

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a bunch of black people in a red car.... A jaffa

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How did the man become sterilized? Blow-dart through the testicle.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a cereal killing homeless man? Roofless

thumb_up thumb_down

School means: Seven Crappy Hours Of Our Lives

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops