1,000 americans jump off a plane. They all die as a result of not having parachutes.

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wheres an unexpected place to find sand? a human pancreas.

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alexis. Hi, come in!

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How many squirrels does it take to screw out a light bulb? None because squirrels lack the strength and mind set to screw out a light bulb.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped.

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teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I dont really care anymore BECAUSE I'M SICK AND TIRED OF THIS CLICHE!

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Q : WHAT DID THE SMALL SHEEP SAY TO THE BIG SHEEP ? Z : BÆÆÆ

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What's gay and Jewish? Henry Shine

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What did the mental patient say to the apple? She didn't say anything because she was a catatonic schizophrenic.

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Q:Why did the black man fall down? A: he got hit in the face by a refrigerator

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Did you know that every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes

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What is black, white, and red all over? Rape.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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What did the asian boy's parents say when he came home with a report full of b-pluses? "You did well, but try harder next time."

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rozes r read violots r bue i cannt soell causse ima bliend

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What does an Asian do in a library in his school? Write one of these.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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When life gives you lemons you are like "how did I get these lemons?"

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A: How can you tell a tree is an aspen? B: 'Cause of the way it is.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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How do you call a black person in KFC? By a Phone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops