Two black males walk into the bar due to circumstances they had to go home early one of them has to leave early to tend to his ill wife, and the other enjoys his night drinking and making small talk with new friends

patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

What is one similarity between John Samos, and the dreadful clown? they have a red nose and are payed to be funny, aside from John Samos!

A Mexican, a black guy, and a Muslim are riding in the back of a car. Who is driving? Their friend Keith.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

How many blondes did it take to screw in the lightbulb? Just one. She did a fine job.

What do Whitney Houston and MTV have in common? They both REALLY died in the 90's.

Kid 1: Mama why is my name Daisy? Mama: Because when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head! Kid 2: Mama why is my name Rose? Mama: Becuase it was a nice name.

whats the fastest way to be murdered tell your wife your cheating on her

What's the difference between Elmo and Cookie Monster? One of them doesn't listen to Michelle Obama

Q. Why was little Timmy crying? A. Because his sister died of cancer.

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What did the cat say to the towel? Meow.

someone called someone else a frog

Why is the spine-tailed swift is the fastest bird? Because its faster than the second fastest bird

An Arabic Muslim is on a plane. He's flying to Chicago.

your mom is so fat she is at high risk of a future heart attack and should be taken to a cardiologist

Why is the boy home alone on Friday night? Because HItler took he's parents away.

How did the teenage mother get her baby to stop crying? Multiple stab wounds to its throat

Why was the woman out of the kitchen? She was at her mother's funeral.

How many Russians can you fit in a Mini Cooper? It depends on how big they are.

I pushed my friend off the bed after losing to him in FIFA 2011. He died.

the firefighter says to the other firefighter: hey firefighter, are we going to fight a fire?

A man is walking on the beach, he trips on a mystical lamp and dusts i off a little. turns out that it was just a lamp, he droped it back on the sand and was arrested for littering.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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