Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What did the racist white guy say to the black guy? "I don't like Asians."

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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What happens when you Shoot a guy with a red Shirt On? He Dies.

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Why did the asian man crash? He fell asleep after a long 18 hour day of driving, plus he was listening to soothing soul music.

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You are right, the past still has its claws deep within me thank you friend.

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What's worse then ten dead babies in a barrel? The one at the bottom is still alive.

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What did one cow say to the other? Moo.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

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There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

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Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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Can you spot the polar bear Probably not because global warming killed it

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How does a Chinese person wear a contact lens? On a 45 degree angle

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Two Jews are sitting in a large oven. They realize it is a dangerous place to be and get out of the oven.

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Your momma is so old, she qualifies for multiple financial aid programs provided by the government.

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What's the worst thing that can go wrong while trying to archieve something you desperately want? -Everything.

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Why did the boy stop singing? Because his lungs collapsed.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your pear.

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer.

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Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

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What does greg and Ian have in common?

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A chicken crossed the road. It was run over before reaching the other side. by fast asleep

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops