How do you call a gay that is playing poker with friends You say "call" and place the right amount of fiches on the table, at that moment you are still in the race to win the pot.

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Two cows grazing by the road. One says hey what's all this about mad cows running around? I wonder what is it like? The other says I don't know I'm a helicopter.

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Q: Why couldn't the black man swim? A: Because ever since he was a child, he has never taken swimming lessons before.

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Why do women have boobs? In order to feed their infants

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Q: How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: One

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Why do I write Anit-jokes. Because I'm very bad at delevering good punchlines. They generally fall flat.

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What happens to an elephant when it rains? It gets wet.

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What's green and frolics in the forest? A flock of cucumbers.

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What do you call black people in a church, Holy shit

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Why didn't suzzana go to school on Monday?? Because it was Sunday...I lied about it being monday

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Your mother is of a healthy weight and a pleasure to be around.

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Sickman Fraud, cocaine snorting alshole... "Oh yeah mommy I love raping you so much... What where are you? This cocaine is really bad quality man! The effect was so short..." Your friendly r*pist neighborhood Moral Man: "Because since when do you really need cocaine... ...In order to rape your mother?"

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Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

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A muslim walks into a gun shop

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? The horse says my mom died from cancer

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What do you do when your girlfriend is bleeding? She is probably on her period.

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How many Jews can you fit in an oven? None, it's illegal.

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What do you call a car with no wheels? Trash

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what's worse than stubbing your toe? a hospital fire.

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What did Hitler say to the Jewish boy? Nothing, Hitler died many years ago...

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What was Hellen Keller's favorite color? A:blue

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Yo momma's so old, she lives in a nursing home and is on various medications that she needs to take to stay in optimum health.

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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You can teach a man to fish but you cant teach a fish to man

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops