A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'who the f*ck let a horse in here, get it out now'.

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why did the chicken cross the road ? how else is he going to get to the other side

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Why do deer have horns? Because god made them that way.

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There was a Jewish man and a German man why was it akward? Because one of them farted

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an american an asian and a jihadist got on a train where did they go no where as the jihadist was strapped to c4

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whats worse then a child with a dead mom? the baby is still inside.

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Where did Sally go when the bomb hit her? Everywhere

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...and the rabbit says, "How 'bout that schnitzel!"

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whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? Pizza is not human, Jewish people are.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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What do you get when you cut a stick of butter? a butt.

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Two muffins are in an oven one muffin says to the other muffin "It's hot in here" the other muffin says "Holy crap a talking muffin".

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Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

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How do Chinese people name their kids? They could look up a baby-names book, consult their family history, or make one up

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How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What would you do if I walked onto your property and started to smash up your mailbox with a sledge hammer? You would be very scared and most probably call the police.

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Q: What do you call a barn full of black people? A: Antique farm equipment.

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What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? ouch.

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What did the ghost say to the black man? nothing. He just shot him.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your Mom is a fake, she adopted you!

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I am a dwarf and im digging a hole... lol jokes dwarfs are mythological creatures and therefore do not exist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops