Did you hear about the constipated mathematician who broke his calculator? He went to the shops and bought some laxatives and a new calculator.

What did the orphan get for christmas........Cancer

Whats white and goes up? a confused snowflake

Q: Why did the black man shit himself? A: He experienced post-mortem bowel release after he was murdered due to his racial identification.

Q. How many infants does it take to paint a wall? A. Depends how hard you throw them...

What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

Why was Mary's turkey dry on Thanksgiving dinner? Because she left it in the oven too long.

LeBron James: Kobe, i got a ring will you stop making fun of me? Kobe Bryant: Yes Kobe and Michael Jordan: LeBron asked if he gets a ring if we'll stop making fun of him LeBron James: Hey Kobe why didn't you answer when i called? Kobe Bryant: Sorry, I only heard it ring once

Anti-Joke Memes Are Obviously Not A Thing

Have you ever ate a donut? Yes I have. In fact, the donut I ate recently was fairly delicious.

What do you get when you cross a man with a horse? The Nobel Prize for your advancement of genetic sciences; centaurs aren’t real.

Q: What do you call a innocent black man that was shot 403 times by the cops when they asked for his ID and somehow assumed he was gonna reach for a gun? A: Deceased Texan.

Why is five afraid of six? Because six seven eight. (Note: The language of numbers is Subject-Object-Verb, rather than Subject-Verb-Object like English.)

Knock knock, "Whos there" a business man who wants to sell you things that you don't need "Oh, go away"

Little boy: Daddy, daddy, I know what i want for Christmas! Dad: Oh really? and whats that? Little boy: I want a bicycle! Dad: Why my son? You are already on a wheelchair...

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is deceased, therefore rendering her incapable of movement, which is required to drive a vehicle.

What is worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree? The holocaust.

What's the coolest place to be in the solar system? Uranus.

What do Sylvia Plath and a cake have in common? Nothing.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Actually a better question would be, why is the chicken near a road in the first place?

Q. What did the dog say to the cat? A. Ruff.

What do a baby and popcorn have in common? They both pop in an explosive manner when put in a microwave and both can be consumed by the person who may have put the baby and popcorn in it so if you think this is funny then you have some problems and i will shortly in some period of time when my schedule is cleared refer you to a licensed psychologist and we will make an appointment for you.

S + B + B = SB fuckin' B

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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