What's worse than depression? Having depression and killing yourself

what do you call a fat black cat and a skinny white dog? Freckles and Spot

What do Tutankhamun and Elvis Presley have in common? They're dead

What do you call a man with no arms an no legs in the ocean? Bob What do you call the same man on your front porch? Matt What do you call the same man on your wall? Art

how did a white girl have a black baby? she was raped at the age of thirteen.

- have you heard about the guy who got the left side off the body cut off? - no. - He died

A plane crashed in the rainforest. The survivors all buried themselves because no survival equipment was left and they all sought to kill themselves in their deep state of shock and fear.

Why did the bakery run out of the business? They weren't making enough dough

Hey, is that your corvette. No I thought it was yours.

What do you call a black guy who flys a plane? A pilot.

How do you kill a dumb blonde? Personally, I love stabbing them.

Yo momma is so dumb, the tests came back positive for mental retardation and she has been given an expected life expectancy of 2 years.

Mikey : I wan to divorce. Miney :are u funking crazy Mikey : no I'm funking dazy !

What is purple, stupid, gay, and tells shitty jokes? I don't know. You think of something.

her: what did your last slave die of? him: syphillis

How do you find a jew amoung italians? Through a dollar and see which one whines its not enough!

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So I saw a man trying to push a plane. I asked why. He told me to mind my own business and go get ebola. And that's why I left for Africa.

the only people that will miss whitney huston are her drug dealer and possibly bobby brown

Did you hear about the guy who had his head chopped off? He's dead.

A man is wrongfully convicted of murder and sent to prison. After a lengthy appeals process the guilty verdict is overturned and he walks away a free man.

why did the black child cry? strange men cut his penis off

There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She was too tired and was afraid that if she got behind the wheel it might cause her to fall asleep at the wheel which would result in an accident.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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