if life gives you lemons. squeeze one into your moms eye.

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

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What's wheels and has green? Lied, I grassed about the wheels.

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If little Timmy buys 80 candy bars and eats 67, how many candy bars does he have left? Diabetes. Timmy has diabetes. So he was disowned.

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what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

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Why did the man drop one dozen long stem roses? Because he was hit by a taxi cab

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“It doesn’t take a lot to turn me on” – William Deane

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Why would you kill a black man? Well, murderers have different motives, the most common of these are revenge or a psychological illness.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

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Whats funnier than 1 dead baby? 2 Dead babies

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A man walks into a bar. There is no one there.

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What did the senator do after he typed he email? He clicked the send button.

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What did the lawyer name his daughter? Nothing. The lawyer is sterile and can never have children.

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Why did the farmer cross the road? To catch the chicken

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Once upon a time, Ducks THE END

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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hey! have you seen that clown at Walmart that hides from gay people?

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How do u say hi to a black person JUST SAY HI RACIST

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jim davidson , nick griffin , and bernard manning walk into a bar , and order a bitter, a lager, and a stout respectfully

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Why did whitney Houston become a drug addict? Because she made some very bad decisions in her life.

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Josh Groban, John Mayer, Ben Folds and Nick Cave are at an underground club that specialises in lithuanian folk music and siberian vodka. end of story

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All of these jokes are about white people

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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