whats green and lives in the water

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rozes r read violots r bue i cannt soell causse ima bliend

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THAT AWKWARD MOMENT... nuff said

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ohai. whutz en ahntei johk? sownz soopihd.

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How did the Jewish man play racquetball? With a racket and a birdie.

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Hey! Have you ever heard of the Alzheimers joke?

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share private information with a stranger.

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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So a blond, a brunette, a ninja, a pirate, a priest, a rabbi, a mathematician and an engineer all walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What, is this some kind of joke?"

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What has three legs, one eye, and is green and fuzzy. I don't know. Me either.

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whats worse than four babies in a box? one baby in four boxes

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Excuses are like assholes: Gay men like to have sex with them.

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Two men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

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Q : WHAT DID THE SMALL SHEEP SAY TO THE BIG SHEEP ? Z : BÆÆÆ

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alexis. Hi, come in!

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face

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How many blondes can you fit in a car? About 5 if you lift the arm rest.

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What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

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Why was the cat in the bag? Because it's owner was abusive and put it in there.

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So a guy says to his dog "hey man when you piss in the toilet can you please flush, just because I don't like to look at your pee." then the dog sits back and says "...woof !!"

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Whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? 15 minutes in the oven.

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What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Nothing. Blackberries grow on bushes and I do not condone hate crimes.

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What did the mental patient say to the apple? She didn't say anything because she was a catatonic schizophrenic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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