How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen? Probably around seven.

Roses are red, violets are blue, suck my tip and call me Regi.

I walk into Tesco and wrestle an obese women for a packet of ''Mini's Biscuits''. This quarrel was over nothing but a trolley filled with them. I gradually became infuriated. Meanwhile, an employee commited suicide.

i found the cure to cancer.......AIDS

Your moms so fat she struggles to to everyday tasks

What did the blond say to the other blond? "I like your shoes."

What's the difference between a jew and a bottle of ketchup? People actually like ketchup.

what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

My mother always said that jumping in piles of leaves was fun. That was before she died of pancreatic cancer.

Knock Knock I have a f*cking doorbell you asshole

One day a black guy bought some fried chicken. The clerk said: Lol you guys always eat chicken! Lol said the black guy, yeah I am here a lot. Clerk: No I meant your kind of you know... I KNOW WHAT? Clerk: You guys at the studio next door! Oh, yeah, lol I almost thought you meant my skin color! Clerk: You fucking Negroes always thinking we are racist...

What do black people do with M&Ms? They eat them.

Why didn't 6 like 7? Because 7 was a huge racist.

Where is aodhan's ma? Jail, she was cought with a bag full of the white powder.

Looking's for free... Touching's for free.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because the amount of times people reused this joke on this site made her so annoyed much she wanted to hurt herself.

Yo' Mommas so poor, She has to ask close family friends and relatives for money so she can feed you.

What do you call a blonde driving the wrong way down the freeway? Well that depends on what her parents named her, or whether she happens to have a nickname of sorts.

What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

what do you call a girl with a pumpkin spice coffee in her hands? Jenifer

who needs to get a different hairstyle to his boyo? josh roberts

Why did the chicken croos the road? He was battling severe depression at the time. His alcoholism was tearing his family apart, he was declining in job performance and his boss threatened to fire him several times. I guess at that point he just decided to end it all. It was horribly tragic, policemen knocking on the door of his wife's chicken roost and informing her of the bad news. As soon as she heard, she rushed to the scene, only to see his mangled body spread across the street, intestines falling out. They held a closed casket funeral. Formal, all black. It was raining by the time the casket was brought to the cemetery to be buried. She hasn't stopped crying since. His children ask her, where's dad, but all she can do is weep. Suicide is bad, kids

You: That was awful. Me: You know what else is awful? You: What? Me: This joke.

whats long, fat, and people love it in their mouth? blunts.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...