Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." Then there is silence and a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone the guy says "I shot in the air and my friend heard it and moved. I think he's still alive." The operator says "Good that means he's still breathing and he's not dead."

Seriosly. too much sex again?

Your mom is so fat that she has trouble walking up the stairs because she gets easily winded.

How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends, but most weigh around 775 to 1,200 pounds.

a guy walkied into a bar... he really got hurt

What do you get when you watch Cinderella backwards? A woman who learns her place.

A amazing I idiots D discover S sex

Why did the serial killer need the knife? He needed to butter his bread

Why does Ray Charles always smile? Because he doesn't know he's black.

Knock knock Who's there Orange Orange who Orange

what did the 3 year old get for her birthday? nothing she died of terminal cancer at the age of 2

What do you call a murderer who killed a black man. kkk

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

Did you hear about the kid from Oklahoma? No. Yeah, he died.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a school bus and died.

This is an anti-joke. It is not funny because "anti" means the opposite of something.

What's going to happen you? Your going to die just like everyone else in the world. Don't laugh, it's not funny

Three guys went hunting on a rainy day. The first guy slipped.

Q: What's worse? Inhaling fly spray or deodorant? A: The Holocaust

What did the physicist say when he got his penis stuck in a test tube? Ah jeesh! I got my penis stuck in a test tube.

She Explored My Body, Licked, Sucked, Swallowed! When Satisfied, She Left! . . . . Damn Mosquito!!!

Betty White's wrinkly ass skin.

What do a raven and a writing desk have in common? I have no idea.

why don't bears wear shoes? because they have bear feet

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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