what do you call a girl with a pumpkin spice coffee in her hands? Jenifer

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Yo mama so dumb she got hit by a bus and didn't know! The funeral was touching and sad. Everyone cried. 2 weeks later..........Johnson ended his own life.......

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did hundreds ofnpeople die in a plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why couldn't the black man get his lawnmower to start? He was too poor to own a home =)

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red violets are blue your dads got hair what happened to you

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the water in the lake disappear? There was a toilet at the bottom.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was Allen late for work? He was mauled by a bear. Allen is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what is the opposite of 2x +3x?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Have you ever watched that show on Lifetime about that woman?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock knock who's there atch watch who? bless you

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q:what do u call a dead baby tied to my feet? A:new shoes

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

friend 1: Alright man, i got your back friend 2: AAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are Red, I have a phone, Nobody texts me, Forever alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was the man sad His got raped

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q:Whats worse than stubbing your toe? A: Watching a terrorist saw your dads arm off.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the electron do after losing his proton? Trough electromagnetical forces, the electron simply left it's atom, making it become a positive ion. Then, atracted by other atom's magnetical force, it joins the other atom's last vallence shell, creating a negative ion, since there are more electrons then protons in the atom in issue.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because if he stayed on the farm, he would have been condemned to a miserable life, subjected to deplorable living conditions and an eventual pain-filled death by the hand of a cruel and heartless farmer. Crossing that road was his only chance of salvation.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why did susy fall off the swing? Cause she has no arms knock knock Who's there? not susy

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why couldn't Cait walk her dog? She's been paralyzed from the waist down since she was 5 after her and her parents got into a car accident and her parents died.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happened when a black lady sat in the front on a bus? She didn't vomit because she could see the road, which helped with her motion sickness. Also the driver got in a better mood because he had company, and the lady was a pleasant person.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the most interesting man in the world refuse to eat his buttered toast? It just so happens that the cook accidentally used stale bread, causing it to taste unsatisfactory.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says "Well, it's a long story but I tell you. You see, one day I was walking along the beach and I found a dusty old lamp. I rubbed the lamp and a big magic genie appeared. He told me I could have 3 wishes." The horse continues: "So I told the genie I wish I had a 10 billion dollars. I checked my bank account and sure enough it came true. My second wish was I wished for a beautiful wife. Suddenly a light came from the sky like an angel falling and I saw a beautiful woman and fell in love with her." The bartender says to the horse "Let me guess, so for your third wish, did you wish you were a horse with a long face?" The horse says "No that's not what I wished for." The bartender asks "What was your third wish?" The horse says "Well you won't believe me but I wished I was a bartender pretending to talk to a horse about some genie granting him wishes." After about 30 minutes of arguing with himself, other employees at the bar had had enough of the bartender talking to himself and called psychiatric personnel to escort the bartender to the mental hospital as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops