What did Tim's grandma get him for his birthday? Nothing, because Tim's grandma died in a car accident 2 years ago

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How do you make a twelve year old girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear.

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A white man, a black man, and a brown man are all in an elevator. The white man laughs "this is like the start to a racist joke or something." The other two men strangle him because he is white.

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky? It had no wings.

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Snake: YES muahaha Eve eat the fruit from the three of wisdom muahahaha! Why do you not share with Adam? Muahahaha! Snake: Why is nothing happening? Then the sky opened and a heavenly voice spoke: "Well as long as none eats fruit from the three of KNOWLEDGE... Hmm, I better get rid of it altogether..." Snake: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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Why can't a blonde swim? Because in this economy her parents never took her to a pool in which she could get swimming lessons and practice to be able to be a good or maybe great swimmer.

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how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

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Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant monkey

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why did the black guy cross the street? to get to the package store.

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David Cameron

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What do you call a group with one Jew and three Germans? Friends

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Q: What do you call a nun in a wheelchair A: Handicapped.

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Smeg...

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Why was the Jew evicted from his home? He forgot to pay the rent

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What do you call a shoe with milk in it? Shoe

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What do you do when you do what the do is the do for the do to do what you're doing that's done for what she did if you didn't do what not to do? ^error

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Whats the sad thing about 4 black guys going over a cliff in a car? It was my car!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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Why was the man lying on the pavement? He was hit by a fridge

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What did Jay Z say to his long lost friends? Allow me to reintroduce myself, my names Jay - Z

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Where did the cow go? To the slaughter house!!!

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Whats worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding out that that apple was the tip of a dick

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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Do you believe in magic? cuz i do.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops