How do u kill a black man You don't or else u will get intouble for murder but u can if u want there r many ways

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What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson? One is a an unsightly blemish that appears on your skin and the other is a dead pop singer.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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What do you call a guy with out any arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob

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What did the worm a fisherman used to catch fish called when the worm killed a trout? Master Bate.

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An egg and a sausage walk into a bar, and the barman says "sorry, we don't serve breakfast".

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what did the robot say to the centipede? "Stop being a centipede!" It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

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friend' Knock Knock! you; no one home go away

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You wanna pop a bottle? I hope you are referring to bottles of water as I am underage and I refuse to partake in any said consumption of alcoholic beverages

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Don't count your eggs before you put them in a basket.

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

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Your mom is so ugly, Ew.

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Roses are Red, They are also white, Infact nowadays with cross-pollination a hugely diverse number of different coloured roses are attainable.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have the Cadillac, Get the Guns

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the other kids at recess? I chopped her legs off.

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Why did the blonde girl drink lots of water? Because the fat comments got to her and she changed her diet to nothing but water

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Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

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Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

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A dog walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "why the long face?" The dog replies, "because I am a dog you idiot, my face always looks like this"

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If a tree falls in the forest, does anyone hear it? no, but it was home to several endangered species that are now extinct

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause you touch yourself at night;

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes...? No, you're still Patrick!

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Why did Justin Bieber wake up Lady Gaga? He needed to ask her a question.

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Knock knock... Home invasion

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops