Q: What do you call Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. A: two things: Their names, and a doctor because they are both in need of a nutritionist.

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How do you kill a baby swinging on a rope attached to a pole at 40 miles an hour? Hit it with a shovel.

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What is worse than getting a cold ? Finding a dead baby in your mailbox

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I like my coffee like i like my women, blonde with big boobs.

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When a fat lady walks by what do u think? R u fat or pregnant

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How many Ringmasters does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They tell the clowns to do it

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See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

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What's black white and red all over A Nun after being pushed down the stairs

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What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

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Your momma's so fat: She feels uncomfortable in public due to current trends in ideal body shape and aesthetics of beauty.

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What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

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What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

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What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

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I like touching my boobs

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womens rights

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Knock Knock Who's there A girl scout want to buy some cookies to raise money for my cardiac surgery?

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What's worse then failing a math test? Your mom getting shot

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What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Evicted.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who? (smell my poo)

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What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

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What did the man dying of cancer want for his birthday? To live.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him he ain't gonna come.

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Why did the young girl fall off her bike? Because somebody threw a fridge at her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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