Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

Bob: Do you know the difference between beer and women? John: No Bob: Oh

I haven't had sex for about 2 years, 10 months, 20 days and 4 minutes. It doesn't bother me though.

Knock Knock. READ THE DAMN SIGN IT SAYS NO SOLICITORS!!! ... yeah.

what do all elephants have in common? they are all monkeys

A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

How many Pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1. and "pollack" is a derogatory term that could be fond offensive to some people.

Why did the homosexual cross the road without looking both ways? He was blind......

Whats the difference between a dog and a bird? They both fly

Why aren't fish good at telling jokes? Their neural structure isn't capable of processing languages or creating a method of communicating with humans, thus they both do not know any jokes since they are incapable of understanding the concept of humour.

Knock knock! Who's there? Hitler, time to shower!

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

Q: What's blue and smells like grass? A: Blue grass.

What did the deaf girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish

What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

Why did the witch stay up all night with a broken broomstick? Because she couldn't sweep.

What do the Irish do on their birthdays? Eat birthday cake and sing happy birthday

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away Because no dog likes being called "hurrrrdhjkdhjsaklhdkhjkddssaduyiwqkhdbewcjk"

your mothers so blonde she has yellow hair.

u know whats a crime? rape

There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

A man walks into the doctor's office and says "Doc, I've been having the strangest dreams First I'm a tee pee, Then I'm a wigwam, a tee pee, a wigwam, a tee pee, a wigwam! What could be wrong with me?" The doctor looks at the man and says, "You have aids."

Do you know what the worst part about inbreeding is? - It's runs in the family!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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