Q: There is an Elf King, King Kong, and Godzilla all on the empire state building. Which one jumps first? A: None, because none of them exist.

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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A blond and his wife were in the hospital expecting their first child together. The wife gives birth to twins and the husband turns to her and says, "I can't believe we had twins. I'm so happy!"

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What is less funny than a clown? Another clown ... but with fewer limbs.

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why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

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what is the difference betweeb 69 and 77? 8

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's nothing else I want to say

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Why was the teenage girl bleeding from her vagina? Because I had shot her in her vagina with my gun earlier that day.

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My mom told me I was pretty, I know now that she is a liar.

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What do you call it when a dead man has his wallet stolen? Rob Zombie.

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A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

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A bar walks into a man

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What happens when you throw a red rock into a blue ocean. The rock gets wet.

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Why was the clown sad? Because he was found guilty of raping and murdering 33 young men, and sentenced to death for 12 of those murders by a jury of his piers.

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Why didn't the mexican make the basketball team? He had never practiced and was overweight

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What is green, red, and goes 70 mph? A frog in a blender

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What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

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Why didn't the boy have any pockets on? He didn't have any pants on

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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How do you get the neighborhood hoodlums to stop pushing you over in your wheelchair? Brutally murder their families in front of them.

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Did you hear what happened to the blonde ice hockey team? They drowned in spring training.

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What did the man screem before he crashed his car? i dont know, he died.

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Knock Knock. READ THE DAMN SIGN IT SAYS NO SOLICITORS!!! ... yeah.

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A Blonde, Brunnette, and red head are on the beach. They find a sand gene and are each granted a wish. The Brunnette wishes for a yot. The Red Head wishes to never again get sun burn. The Blonde wishes for more sun. The world is overtaken and insinerated by the sun. An alien spaceship finds the Red head in a space suit floating around randomly when they ask how she survived she says "I don't sun burn"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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