Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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Q: How many Babies does it take to paint a garage? A: babies do not have good motor skills therefore, they can not hold a paint brush.

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Matt Gregory Harrington is a bender, pylon, hoser, duster tripod, and puck bunny!!!!

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

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What do you do if a goose comes flying towards you? Duck.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? A second one

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My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

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How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas ? A treadmill

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See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

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How many Ringmasters does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They tell the clowns to do it

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What is worse than getting a cold ? Finding a dead baby in your mailbox

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I like my coffee like i like my women, blonde with big boobs.

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When a fat lady walks by what do u think? R u fat or pregnant

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Q: What do you call Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. A: two things: Their names, and a doctor because they are both in need of a nutritionist.

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How do you kill a baby swinging on a rope attached to a pole at 40 miles an hour? Hit it with a shovel.

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A man walks into a bar not a duck though

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What did the fat man say to everyone? Hey everyone! I am i fat man!

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Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

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The good part of "Age" of Ultron? THANOS REIGNS! Disagree? Just leave the green thumb and fuck off!

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How many mathematicians does it take to count?

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What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

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Knock Knock Who's there A girl scout want to buy some cookies to raise money for my cardiac surgery?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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