What is my cats favorite college? Harvard

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Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

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What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

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Why did santa cross the road? He didn't he is not real.

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I hope your not allergic to bees Because your about to be attacked by a live tiger.

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Next Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Sexual assault.

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You go to the Anti Joke website, what do you find under the "newest" section? Black jokes.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

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Why'd the black man smell awful... Because he hadn't showered in multiple days

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What is worse then falling into a lava pit? Nothing you idiot.

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Knock knock. Its open.

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I'll have a chocolate milkshake, hold the onions.

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Who looks like Justin bieber, and is really cool? Justin Bieber, but I lied about him being cool.

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What's the best thing for a hangover? Heavy drinking the night before.

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A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

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Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

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Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

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A man is talking to his friend. The man suddenly picks up a banana. He says "hello anybody there?" The banana says "yes." After a while of conversing, the man suddenly puts the banana down in a sad type of way. The man then says to his friend "I'm sorry, but your sun has just died in horrible accident.

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I know how to make a brilliant telescope out of an empty jar, some leather, a string and a brilliant telescope.

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Bill: ask me if i am three ducks in a man suit Jim: are you three ducks in a man suit? Bill: yes

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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