What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Hey bill

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What is the difference between a urologist and a can of chili? One is hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine.

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Dad: Blind side was the black kid who played tight end. Me: Offensive line. Dad: Sorry, African American kid.

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A zebra that was shot by poachers.

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Knock, knock. Come in.

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Why did Jimmy fall off of his bike? Well, he was always known for his lack of balance.

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A duck walked into a bar and said "ouch."

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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What did Tarzan say when the elephants came over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill!

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have stage IV Ovarian Cancer.

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Q. Why is Obama stupid? A. That's an opinion, therefore i cannot answer that.

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Sir, do you know what time it is? Yes, it is 5:15 PM

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Johnny: I saw you long time ago. You were quite the school clown back in the day. Boy I remember back when I was just a whipper snapper we used play around and goof around all day. Whatdya think? Richard: Shut up, motherfuckingbitch

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How many apples does it take to keep the doctor away? 1 if you throw it hard enough! haha

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall Humpty Dumpty is an egg so nobody cares

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

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When life gives you lemons, chuck them at someone's face!

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A duck walks into the bar, buys a beer, steals your woman, wins a bar fight, pistol whips a police officer, departs and shouts Aflac

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Why did the accident happen? The breaks on the car stopped working. Why did the breaks stop working? The driver was drunk.

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What is the difference between being a serial killer and a doctor? I'm not a doctor.

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What goes round and knocks on windows? A paedophile.

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Obama being re-elected

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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