What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Is this the krusty Crab? No you idiot this is a phone!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +18

The Americans have just spent millions of dollars working on a pen that works in space. I would of just used a pencil.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q:Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? A: Because he got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

The sentence below is an anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

im gey

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the man get when he returned from Africa? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What happened to the young baby after her mother died It grew up got a collage degree and had a great life growing up with her dad and visiting the cemetery every year

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Simon says.. Nothing because he's deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the captain say to the priest? We're on a boat.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the little boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a washing machine at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

We decided to post a joke on anti-joke and see if we can get any rapings

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Joesph Triphook.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was Sally in a wheelchair? Her abusive father beat her repeatedly with a rake.. Then as she crawled out the door to try and get help, the abusive father took his Dodge Ram and ran over her legs reapeatedly. Then began to slap her. Luckily, a vigilante saw the whole thing and slaughtered the father with an axe and carefully escorted Sally to the hospital. After a couple of weeks of beautiful and extraordinary care, Sally made a full recovery and was able to leave.. and all patients have to leave in a wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red And heres something new Violets are violet They're not friggin blue

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you make a plumber cry You kill it's family

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a women with 2 black eyes? Hopefully nothing because abuse is something that shouldn't be messed with and it is wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

There is a blonde, a redhead, and a brunnette stuck on a deserted island. the redhead gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk the 100 miles back to shore. she begins swimming, gets 10 miles out, gets tired, and drowns. the brunnette gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk it too. she gets 50 miles, gets tired, and drowns. The blonde decides to escape as well. she is able to swim 98 miles, gets tired, and swims back.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q. How can you tell if your arm is broken? A. Break it.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops