Why was the Mexican running? He was being chased by border patrol!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Regarding the "I will violate you, your children and your parent if you thumb me red" comment belo. I had a green thumb, I know because I gave it to myself because I am awesome... Now I got none... I person that this this, I cannot wait to X-mas where I will be violating them all, tell them, and as thus remind you that this was their Christmas present from you... Your friendly r*pist neighborhood Moral Man: Yes, I am your neigbor... I cant wait for slot number 24 on my christmas calendar... There is a picture of you and your family... Yummy!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's big and purple? Barney

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's the difference between a Christian and a Jew? One believes in Jesus, the other doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I'm rick james bitch

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the Iraqi cross the road? Because he was hired by the CIA as an undercover operative to lead them to a highly dangerous target in the small town of Aziziyah and was leaving the area to avoid the impending Pavelow strike on the town center.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the little girl run to her mother? Because she saw a police inspector, who had already tried to kill her several times that week, aiming a poison dart at her forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you get when you cross a Chinese man with a dog? A happy Chinese man and a pile of dog bones.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? It depends on a variety of factors such as the size of your mouth, the amount of saliva, etc.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A carpenter walks into a bar. After ordering some wine he tells the bartender that one of his 12 friends will betray him. He also says that once he was captured, the government will execute him on a wooden cross for everyone to see. The bartender in disbelief says to the man "You gotta be kiddin' me, do you think you're Jesus or something?" The man throws his glass of wine to the floor, grabs the bartender by his collar, and says "Hey man, I ordered red wine, not white wine you bastard!" After a few minutes, a group of nurses escort the insane loon back to the mental clinic. The bartender never saw the man again and proceeds to sweep that mess the psycho left on the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

The worst part of waking up, Is no Folgers in your cup.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A black man walks into a bar and orders a shot. He then precedes to drink it.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are red,violets are blue I've got aids & now so do you Merry Christmas

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the pot-head have red eyes? He got soap in them.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A: go away. B: No i won't A: Shutup B: Yes i will not go away A: again, shutup B: I left A: Thank you B: Your welcom A: Thank you for saying your welcome B: Thank you for saying thank you that i'm welcome A: Thank you for saying thank you for saying that I thank you that you're welcome.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q: Why is asprin white? A: It works.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A horse trots into a bar. He is left with a bump on his head.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the airplane crash? A loaf of bread was the pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Giant scorpions, red roses, adoption, the holocaust, bars, changing light bulbs, and fridges.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What is the name of Helin Keller's street, state and pet Street: Mahhehb State: Hahgre Pet: habdsa

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why was the All-black Basketball team disqualified? Because they all died in a hotel fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops