Life is like a box of chocolates. Except it's not usually a rectangular or love heart shaped... nor does it contain small expensive assorted candy... life may not also contain nuts... or be devoured by our fellow human... Life is not like a box of chocolates

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Knock knock Who's there Evan Evan who Evans erectile area is largo with Sarah plains pudding

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar, has a few drinks, chats with some fans, and leaves. The very next day, Justin Bieber is out buying groceries.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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i black man walks in to a bar.he askes if he can make out with you? the man says"no. black man says"why? the guy says"because im not homersexal. black man says"oh. boss says"hey i told you dont talk to black people. guy says"no i can ekplan.boss says no more of buts or buy. boss says" you are fired guy says"NO! boss says"yup both of you get out! guys say no two guards come to talk them out. THE END`DONE!

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two kids find a condom so they decide to show their mum the mum snatched it off them saying never to touch one of them again the kids went to their room "Mum sounded pretty angry about that thing "Lucky we didnt tell her about the yohgurt we drank out of it

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Why did the little boy fall over. Because someone shot him in the face.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours belong in the zoo Don't worry I'll be there too! Not in the cage But laughing at you! ??

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What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

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Question to make it sound like a racist joke? Politically correct answer that should not offend anyone.

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Why couldn't Bob pick up his pen? Because a nuclear bomb just set off where he lives and it incinerated everything.

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Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun? Because leprechauns don't exist.

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What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? there are twenty of them

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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What is invisible and smells like rabbits? Bunny farts.

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Q: What would have been the easiest way to stop the second world war without killing anyone? A: Paid Hitler for his art.

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Why did the weiner dog that punctured Doris' bladder get carried away during an oral sex session? Because the dog had a terribly troubled childhood which led to a faliure to adequately function in adulthood

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Q: A man, already drunk, walked into a bar. What did he say? A: Ouch!

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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What did the black guy say to the drug dealer? "You should probably stop dealing drugs to people because it is illegal and you could be sent to prison for doing so."

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the awkward moment when your mom wakes you up and you realize she died six years ago

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One day 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

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Why was timmy live on the streets? His parents didnt have the money to abort him!! HaHa

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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