Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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Once upon a time, there was a cat. He died.

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why did hitler hate the jews... because the nazies had to pay the gas bill

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Two muffins were in a microwave. One muffin said, 'It's getting hot in here." What did the other muffin say? Nothing, muffins can't talk.

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Q: Why did the boy fall of the swing? A: He had no arms.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's a free drink, you'll wake up in my basement.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

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A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

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Why was the black family eating KFC? Because KFC tastes very nice and there was a discount on the family bucket.

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Two women are sitting next to each other in a bar minding their own business.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? I'm not sure, he could not unwrap them.

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What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

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Why didn't grandma ever return Johnathon's calls? Grandma was brutally murdered 2 years prior. Johnathon had issues believing that she was gone. He went on to live a life of pain and suffering, which would eventually lead to suicide at the age of 24.

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, he found his tractor and went back to work.

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Roses are red My name is Dave This makes no sense MICROWAVE

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Why did the football player walk so funny? He went to Penn State!

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A Christian and an Atheist are sitting next to each other in a bar. C: Sad you don't believe in God, 'cuz you'll go to hell after your death. A:I don't believe in hell neither..

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When life gives you lemons, go sell them for crack.

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What was pauls mum screaming? Rape

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How did the guy fall off the roof? He was pushed

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have 5 fingers. The middle one is for you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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