Roses are red violets are blue vodka cost less than dinner for two

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"Doctor, Doctor, Help I feel like a pair of curtains" "I've got some cream for that".

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What's black and white and enforces the rules at football games? A referee? Wow you're really smart.

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Why did the asbestos cross the road? Because it was being removed from an elementary school due to the fact that asbestos is an air pollutant which is regulated under section 112 of the Clean Air Act of 1970.

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A duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Put it on my bill."

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Confucius says... He with whom neither slander that gradually soaks into the mind, nor statements that startle like a wound in the flesh, are successful may be called intelligent indeed.

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Doesn't matter, had sex. Except for the STD's I possibly contracted.

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Knock knock Who's there? John Oh hello John come on in mate.

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what didn't Jon go to the movies? He tripped and broke his neck and cant look up

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teacher:humpty dumpty sat on a wall.... me: wait, why was he up there ms.park? teacher: well hes never been the same since vietnam, his wife divorced him and now hes a raging alcoholic.

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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why did the mexican steal the money? because he was financially struggling and needed the money to support his family

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-Whats this? -Anti-Jokes.. -Theyre not funny

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How do you kill a retard? you shoot him in the head

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Why did the little girl cry in school? Because she remembered her parents were both in prison. She is in a state run foster academy.

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what do you call a man who likes other men? A fag

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Oooh. That fish smells delicious.

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knock knock who's there? F uck F uck who? F uck off

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There are 3 Chinese guys migrating to the USA, Chu, Bu and Fu. . Chu added a 'ck' to? his name and became Chuck Bu did the same thing and became Buck. Fu got sent back to china

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two kids find a condom so they decide to show their mum the mum snatched it off them saying never to touch one of them again the kids went to their room "Mum sounded pretty angry about that thing "Lucky we didnt tell her about the yohgurt we drank out of it

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Why did sally fall of the swing? She had no arms or legs Knock knock who's there? Not sally

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Caolan and Eamon

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knock knock who's there? pizza man ok

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Your momma's so fat that she contracted type 2 diabetes and died at a young age because obesity is a huge problem in America.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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