Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

What did the little girl say to her mother? Nothing, the previous day the little girl was kidnapped and rapped by two 40 year old men and was eventually decapitated...she will never speak to her mother again.

what did the stop sign say to the car? nothing.

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

What did Batman say to When they were heading to the Batmobile Robin get in the batmobile.

What's special about an Irish Parachute ? It's made in Ireland.

Stripper went to strip club to ask for work. - It was closed

Caolan and Eamon

What's worse than finding half a worm in an apple? Rape and child abuse.

Roses are red Violets are blue I like peanut butter Can you fly?

why do jews like money? So they can support their family.

What did the old man say to the young man? Nothing, the old man was dead.

"What dosen't kill you makes you stronger" Except losing your arms.

What do you call a black midget in space? The first true example of how hard work, dedication and sacrifice can help you to achieve your goals.

What's it called when an abusive alcoholic father iguana has trouble connecting with his wayward teenage drug addict son iguana, while at the same time the mother iguana doesn't come home till late hours and constantly calls her daughter iguana a slut? Reptile Dysfunction.

What's worse than finding an apple in your worm? Lebron traveled

A man said hello to a woman. He was italian...

Why do they call it "Unsweetened Tea?" Did they put sugar in it and then take it back out again?

What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

What do you call a blonde person? By her name.

yo momma so fat, Bob's furniture store is having a sale on wednesday at 5:00.

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead dive off a motorboat. They are sucked into the propeller and brutally disfigured instantly.

Why should you never push a Mexican off a bike? Because he will file a lawsuit against you in the event of an injury.

Why was 95 lb jack able to chug so fast? Because he is a diabetic

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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