give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

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A man spoke in a high-pitched voice. Another man said "Are you gay" He responded, "Why, yes"

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Arab 1: Du good bai me, and I'll du good bai you. Arab 2: Ye men, sounds good men. Arab 3: O man, no way. Arab 4: K, u wait...jus wait n see.. Arab 5: I no interest! Me so saudi! Arab 6: D'oh...ha, ha, haa! Arab 7: This is so bahrain...I'm going to go club some protesters.

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How do you get someone to paid attention to etys You don't, there is no such thing as retys

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Where did Susie go during the bombings? Susie was wandering around the streets as she felt like she didn't know where she was any more. Everything was burnt to ashes. She came across a man who she has never met. He tells her to follow him. She did.Later, Susie, the mysterious man and a few other people with him were in a private meeting room. The mysterious man tells Susie that he was a Frenchman and he was with the resistance. A few minutes later, the bombs were dropping everywhere. The meeting room was destroyed and Susie, the Frenchman and his men were under attack. The French resistance were about to fight, but retreated - for they were French. Susie was left, lying there as she saw a bomb in the sky about to land on her. She tried to get up and run, but the bomb was too fast. It got her. So yeah. Susie went everywhere, like you lot said.

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Why was the teenage girl pregnant? She got raped by her dad.

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what did the doctor say to another doctor? we are doctors

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What has eyes but can't see? Helen Keller. What has ears but can't hear? A field of corn.

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why is coltin alexander such a duche? because no one loves him

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A bunch of teens were egging the house of their science teacher for giving them homework over break. They got caught by their teacher's ex-husband and he told them, "She broke up with me for telling her she was being too hard on her students. So, my friends, egg on!!!!!"

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What do you call a deer with no eye? NO IDEAR!

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A man gets a paternity test. It's better than beating his wife senseless due to his own insecurity.

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What did the old women do when she found her husband dead? She had a heart attack and died as well.

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Why did Hitler hate Jews? Because he use to get bulied by them when he was in high school.

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Roses are gay Violets are gayer when you hear girls moaning im the player

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hi

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A man walks into a chiropractor. The chiropractor asked whats wrong with you? The man replies My boner has scoliosis.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Oh, no! There is a ginger jew within 2 meters of me!

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Your mama sucks so much dick, it's not funny.

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Q: What's circlular and has two hands? A: A skinny person, i was kidding about the circular part!

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What did the whale say when he ran into a wall? - Oh Shit

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Whats green and has wheels? Grass...i lied about the wheels

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What's worse than putting stones in a blender? Putting a baby in a blender.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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