Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

Would you spit or swallow? Well, in circumstances when i am eating or drinking, i would swallow. Although if i had something disgusting in my mouth i would spit

Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

Doctor: You want the good news or bad news? Patient: Bad news. Doctor: You have terminal cancer. Patient: What's the good news? Doctor: You have AIDS.

If you were in a room with Osama bin Laden, Hitler, and a black guy and you had two bullets, who would you shoot? Seeing as this situation is logically impossible considering that Adolf Hitler died in the year 1945 and Osama bin Laden was born in the year 1957, I would be in a room with just a black guy and two bullets. Then I would proceed not to shoot the black guy on the fact that I enjoy the talking and learning about cultural diversities between the black and white races.

Boys and girls, I only have a few seconds left, and I am going to take these few seconds and teach you.... the longest story in the Universe! You may think this show is all fun and games, but you are in school! And this is an educational program! And there will be a test! And you will be graded on that test! And that grade will go on your permanent record! And your permanent record will follow you around for the rest of your life!!! So, you better pay attention. It goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. 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And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." And Jake said "All right, boss, I will. And it goes like this: (pause) It was a dark and stormy night. All the robbers were sitting around in the cave And the Chief of all the robbers, turned to his second in command, and said "Jake, tell us a story." An

Q: Why did'n the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

How do you find a jew amoung italians? Through a dollar and see which one whines its not enough!

PENIS

What's worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust.

Why did the blonde's parents take away her car? She didn't pay for half the insurance like she said she would.

This person shaved their head to gain attention. A klansman.

What did the white boy say to the black boy? You're black

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

How did freedom die in Europe? It was shot in the chest with a rifle.

What's white and black? Color blind.

What did Batman tell Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile

Q: Why did Susie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie.

Q: What is Fftp poort grtz gruxxyw? A: DYSLEXIA!

Did you hear about the guy who had his head chopped off? He's dead.

Why do black people always sit in the back of the bus? There aren't any available seats in the front.

Why do women wear perfume and makeup? They smell bad and they're ugly.

In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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