girl. have you seen my duck man. yes he is with me right now girl rely you have him man. yes in my diner girl. d.i.c.k. man.f u

A guy, arriving at the pearly gates of Heaven, asks St. Peter "Why did I die? Why me." St. Peter replies: "You died the same way everyone does. Lack of oxygen to the brain."

Why did the eskimo drag the seal into the igloo? Because the whale wouldn't fit.

what happens when you put Rihanna and Chris brown in the same room? Rihanna dies

What did the man do with his cat? he threw it in the garbage because he didn't like it

Why was the young girl sad? A doctor told her that due to the fact that she was recently raped, she contracted AIDS.

what did timmy from southpark say after his warther melested him? TIMMY

Making fun of Charlie Sheen is like shooting up in a barrel.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

What's better than sex? I have never had sex and, therefor, do not have adequate knowledge of the experience enough to make a comparison to other experiences. You should ask someone who has had sex.

What do you call black people in a church, Holy shit

What did the dog say to its owner? well as you can see it is physically impossible for a dog to speak english or any other langueges such as french, spanish or chinese.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being chased by a serial rapist.

What did the traffic light say to the car? Bye.

Why did the little boy fall down the stairs? I pushed 'em.

A man walks into a bar wearing large and baggy pants. The bartender asks him, "Why the large, baggy pants?" The man replies, "Because they're comfortable."

What happened to the Jewish man while he was in the shower? He accidentally fell asleep and was late to his job.

Hey, you are competitive, but let me have the last word here and you will like it. If you keep poking your nose constantly, the effect will actually overlap, making it stronger and stronger, by all means though, make sure you keep some nose working alright?

Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

Why do you have to write a conclusion at the end of your paper? So people dont have to read the whole thing.

Q:Whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? A:One less drunk

Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

How do you confuse a blond? Nordic mytholigi. That is, if shes american

Did you fall from heaven? Because you look like Satan.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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