What Do You Call A Black Guy Surrounded By Nine White Guys With Bats? Jackie Robinson.

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A man was mowing the lawn. The mower stops, so he look to see if something stuck in the blades. What did he pull out? Nothing, the gas ran out.

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Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? A tree stapled to a baby

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Dear Reader I am writing to express my complete and utter disdain toward the subject of your face. Rarely have I to witness such a repugnant sight. I would like to inform you that, upon most regrettably witnessing your face, my delicate stomach muscles gave way, and my morning meal, of lightly buttered Kipper and freshly squeezed orange juice most unfortunately ended up in one of the seventeen human waste disposal outlets to adorn my manor house. I struggle to comprehend how you, being such a selfish sadist, are able to live with yourself, knowing how much dismay you have caused me. Might I suggest that you pay a visit to a prosthetic plastic surgeon, in order to prevent other innocent's to suffer as did I. I request politely, but please be firmly assured in the knowledge that I will complain to the magnificent force of the police should you not comply with my reasonable request. Your face simply can not be allowed to exist in it's current form. I would go so far to say that it may be a danger to the elder's of our society, with their regrettably weak hearts.

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the chicken crossed the road. the chicken was then caught by animal control because it was in the middle of a city.

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how do you break up with someone lightly and not hurt their feeling I dont want to hurt your feeling but i hate you

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A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first? Give us the bad news first, the parents reply. Your baby has red hair, says the doctor. Well whats the good news, ask the parents. It’s dead.

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Who's a tool and a NARC? Josh Brami!

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Whats the difference between Megan Fox and a dead baby? Megan Fox is alive

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Why did Jimmy fall over? Jimmy was hit by a bus.

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Why can't Chuck Norris die? He can, he's just a normal human being.

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How do you make a clown sad? You kill his family.

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What did the Asian father say to his son when he got a b? Good job son!

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? a pilot.

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Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

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What happens when you mix breed a cat and a human?? .. you get arrested and get raped by your fellow prisoners DONT do it!

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So three men walk into a bar and buy a round of drinks for everyone. As they do this, three kenyans die of dehydration while their families weep at their feet.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

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DONT think about ELEPHANTS. Your thinking about elephants now.

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whats hairy and crys your mom

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Why did ben 10's omnitrix or watch break? Because he kept slapping it.

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A man and a midget walk into a bar each carrying a suitcase. They were stopping by after work.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender suddenly runs out the door frantically yelling, "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!" Meanwhile, inside the bar, the patrons overpowered the gunman, tied him up and took his weapon and all the cash he had. They later used his money to buy more drinks at another bar.

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What did the convicted pedophile do to the ten year old boy? He molested him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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