Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. ----- Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

I was sitting in traffic the other day. I was runover.

What was little Sarah's last Words to johnny before he got hit by the bus??? Can i have your ice cream.

what do you call a dead man rolling down a hill on fire, being shot in the head, and strapped to a bomb Dead

Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

Why did the man laugh as he sat in the electric chair? He was being tickled by the guard.

Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?!?! Neither has he

bob lost his camouflage bag. he never found it.

What did the rabbit say to the man nothing animals cant talk

What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

Error 37.

Q: What's blue and smells like grass? A: Blue grass.

Yo mammas so fat she wears big clothes!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

A bald man walks out a bar crying Prostate cancer

Why did Steve Jobs die? Because he had cancer

What do a cow and a banana have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

Jesse uses a prescription shampoo called " greasey poop" because he feels like his hair doesnt look greasy enough. He cries himself asleep every night because he wants a slim body like the rest of the cool kids, so he eats his pain away, which digs him an even deeper hole. the life of Jesse zigenbein is quite tragic to say the least. Please donate 10$ to the "eat ourselves to sleep" campaign

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

I have a black friend that recently went to the doctor for a full checkup. I saw him today, and he we was dressed to the nines in a very expensive suit. "What's with the suit," I asked. "My doctor told me I'm impotent! So I thought, if I'm going to be impotent, then it'll be harder to attract a long term mate without the ability to give her children someday. So I've decided to showcase my impeccable taste in style to make up for it." He seemed really bummed out, so I gave him a hug and we went and had some ice cream.

A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde go on vacation in Hawaii. They plan to swim to the next island. The brunette and redhead do it with no problem. The blonde swims halfway and realizes she is tired. She continues to swim straight ahead knowing her friends are already at the next island.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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