what happened when the sports mascot ate a bean and cheese burrito? he shat inside his costume and got fired.

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What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

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What did Steven Hawking get for christmas? A bike.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench. The bucket.

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roses are red violets are blue i need a pee and so do u

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If you have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, Chuck Norris now has $10.

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A horse walks into a bar. The horse says "why the short face?"

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My spelling is horrible

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How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side

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roses are rose, violets are violet, now shut up, you retarded black poet!

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? the holocaust

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What do you call Batman with a knife in his chest? Dead

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A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

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What did the orphan get for christmas? Cancer.

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? Because it wasn't a pilot it was a toaster.

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What's gay and nobody likes? Ryan's combover

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a potato walks into a bar. people stare as it is physically impossible for a potato to walk since it is a vegetable

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What does karissas vagina taste like? Ask vantwon

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Why didn't the boy eat his soup? It was to hot.

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I have a horse.

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What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

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What's worse than the holicost? The ninja turtles

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my wife out of the kitchen

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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