Why did the father leave work early on his son's birthday? He was rushed to the hospital after facing a severe heart attack due to a history of cardiovascular disease in his family.

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whats worse than getting caught by a teacher for chewing gum? getting kidnapped by a giant hawk.

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Have you ever tried ethiopian food Neither have they

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Ask me if I'm a watermelon. Are you a watermelon? No...

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What did the litlle boy get for christmas? The toy which he could only dream about. His father got cancer.

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Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there. Just kidding because today brought terminal cancer.

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A pregnant woman walks into a bar and miscarries.

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They say time heals all wounds, yet my leg still had to be amputated.

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How do you make a 5 year old cry? Kill their parents.

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Want to hear a joke? Obama

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your mum is dead, Just fucking with you! Kelvin Yang.

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Dead girls can't say no.

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An Irishman, a Jew, an Asian, and a Priest all walk into a bar This is an example of a well-balanced community

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What's the best time to go to the dentist? When your tooth breaks or you need braces.

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Why can't black guys eat babby back ribs... Beacause They are black too

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Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

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What's worse that getting raped by a frog? That would never occur, as frogs do not have genitalia to commit rape.

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Why did Daniel Nitz cross the road during rush hour? Because he's an idiot.

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Phew... it's gone.

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What's green and has wheels? Your mom.

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Hellen Keller went to town a ridin on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it.. ashhlerthurbujahustar.

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A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

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A Jewish boy walks up to his father and says: Dad, can I borrow 50 dollars? The dad responds: 40 dollars?!? What are you going to do with 30 dollars?!?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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