Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

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What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

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What is Rebecca Blacks favorite resurant? T.G.I Fridays...

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When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

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Me: What's the difference between a zebra and a slice of cheese? You: I don't know Me: Me neither

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Why did the 2 black kids jump the barb-wired fence To get to the other side

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A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

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So, what happens when Germany attacks France? France proceeds to slaughter the attackers mercilessly, as it was during the Feudal Ages, a time when France was Europe's superpower.

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2 bald men are standing on an oval, one turns to the other and says "leukemia."

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Why are chaos theorists so predictable? Because their arguments usually follow a logical set of points.

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What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a Mustang? I don't have a Mustang in my garrage.

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What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a legitimate reason

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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One man asked another man what his favorite sport was. The man replied: " My favorite sport is golf." "Golf requires no physical strength, therefore I do not count it as a sport." Said the man who asked the question.

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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Why did the jew kill himself? Because he had no foreskin.

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What do you call a quadriplegic man at a museum? "Sir," unless you happen to know his given name, in which case it would be most polite to call him that.

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

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Your momma is so black, that her melanin levels are relatively high.

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whats the best kind of chocolate bar? a larsbar

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what did the little girl with cancer get for christmas? cancer

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whats white and smells like onions? an onion..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops