Knock Knock Who's There Mailman Mailman who? Sir, I don't have time for this, take your mail.

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why is lady gaga so famous? because she has a penis.

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A man walks into a bar. He then says "ow".

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An older man and a young boy are holding hands and walking into the woods together. The boy looks up and say, "gee, I'm scared, it's dark in there." the old man answers, "Yeah, just think how I feel....I have to walk out of here alone!"

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What did the man say to his friend? Hello.

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Wait a moment, I will see what I can do.

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Just want to know where I will be dipping my... MANFLESH!

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What's worse than dropping an ice-cream cone? A dead baby. What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies. What's worse than two dead babies? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Dropping two ice-cream cones.

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Please, not the nails.

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How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

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Whats the difference between obama and Michael Jackson? Michael Jackson Is dead

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Q: Why was the cook put in jail. A: He has killed 2 people and robbed several stores

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why was 6 afraid of 7 7 was a serial rapist with a anger problem

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i'm not random but cheese does get a bit purple if you leave it in your laptop then the battery dies and the sun expands and kills every dodo alive even though they're extinct but that not the point

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What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

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What's black an white and red all over? Two dead babies, one African American and one Caucasian split in half by a chainsaw.

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Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Yes, are you on a horse? No. Oh...

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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What's worse than dying in a car wreck with your family? You being the only one that dies.

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There were three brothers. Big, Harry and Dick. They were walking along the road and were all instantly killed by a drunk driver. Their names were never mentioned and their story was used as a promotion for the seriousness of drunk driving and should not be taken lightly.

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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what's the difference between a zebra and a horse They are spelled differently

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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