What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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3 men walk into a bar. The 4th one ducks.

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my basement.

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Why did the blonde fail her science test? Because she spent all day at the hair salon getting her hair died from brown to blonde when she should have spent the time productively studying.

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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I was going to type an anti-joke but I totally forgot how it starts. It goes something like something something something something something your mom's a whore.

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I like my coffee like my women, without a penis

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A man walks into a bar. He is knocked unconscious, and passers-by rush to his aid.

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why did the man ride the helicopter,because he was hurt horrible in a car accident.

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Something strange in you're neighborhood. Who you gonna call? The police.

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I like my coffee like I like my slaves... Free

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What do you do when you find a blonde on her knees? Help her up, because obviously she has fallen.

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yo mammas so fat when she runs the world spins faster

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yo momma is so fat that she contributes to americas obesity problem

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know ask a second grader.

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What was the last thing that went into the head of the space pilot of the Challenger shuttle right before it crashed? He was probably thinking about his wife and family...

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Hitler walks in to pizza pizza, the manager asks how many? L

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How am I supposed to eat soup without an envelope?

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What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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Why was darren too late for school today...? She got hit by the bus

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Clearly the only answer is because he's blind

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Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

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You might not notice at first, but in this very sentence there is a psychological phrase that is used to hypnotise you. If you read through the first sentence of this paragraph three or four times, you may start to feel the sudden urge to have a drink. This is called the ashvakalym effect.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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