Someone asked me "What rhymes with Orange?" I replied "Door hinge." He punched me.

What did Michelle Obama get for Christmas? Cancer

theres no 'I' in 'team' but theres an 'I' in 'hitler'

What's a bench painted red white and blue all over? An American BENCH.

What is worse than getting hit by a bus? 9/11

Are you 9/11 because i would like you to destroy my tower.

Ah, sorry for my failed attempt at being a witty. Yes, it has been a long day, or so the saying goes.

Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

I'm a psychic. Don't believe me? Think of any number between 1 and 20. Got it? Your number is 17. Please comment if I got it right

What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting Cancer.

What did the astronaut say when he stepped on the moon? Oops, sorry.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? No. Well, neither has he

Q: what's wrong with this sentence? My dogs is running in the garden A: I don't have a garden

wanna hear a cat joke? just kitten

You see that dog over there with no tail? You know what that means, don't you? What? Someone cut it off.

women's rights

Why did the horse escape from his stable? He didn't. He stayed there all night and his owner took him out the next day as the weather was beautiful.

You you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you. Way do go lazy you didn't read all the you's so you didn't realize there was a yoo in there. But now you realize there aren't any yoo's there way to go.

A white man and a drunken black man enters the bar, the bartender calls the cop and the black man is dragged into the police car. The black man screams YOU ARE RACIST! YOU DAMN RACISTS! The cops tell him he has been walking around the streets naked the last 2 days... Oooh... I am really sorry sir says the black man. He was forgiven and went sober forever. Moral: No moral, that is the anti moral in this anti joke...and besides I am a W class celebrity.enjoy life

Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

A brunette, a redhead, and a blond are all stuck on an island 100 miles away from the nearest civilization with no resources. After 2 weeks, they decide that no one is going to save them and they have to swim for it. The brunette swims 25 miles and then gets eaten by sharks. The redhead swims 75 miles and then drowns. The blond swims 99 miles but got tired, so she swam back.

What did God tell Moses to deliver to the Hebrews? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to its dying chicks who were just run over.

Why did the black man walk into the catholic church? He was catholic.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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