How many infants does it take to paint a house? Forty-Seven.

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[Set up] [No punch line]

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What did the little calculator grow up to be? Nothing

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Why does manure smell like poop? Because it is poop.

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What did the first ant say to the second ant? Nothing. Ants are incapable of communicating via speech.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set the alarm for a reasonable time. - Louis

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So a man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest of this joke, but your mom is a whore.

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Yo mama's so fat she got baptized in Sea World.

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When is a car not a car? When it's scrapped and turned into license plates.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house... Knock, knock Who's there? The chicken.

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What do Gary Glitter and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both successful pop stars

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what is worse than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? catching one with a pitchfork!!!!

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A woman is shopping at a grocery store. She picks up a half gallon of skim milk, 2 loaves of wheat bread, one dozen organic eggs, and some carrots. She goes to the checkout line. "You must be single." the clerk says. Amazed at the flattering insight of the clerk, the woman says, "Yes I am. How could you tell?". "Because you're ugly".

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Why couldn't the woman drive? She was dead.

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pooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooop

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Think of a number 1-10 Now add 39 Divide that by 20 Subtract two Now close your eyes.. Dark isn't it?

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roses are red voliets are blue u actule thought i would cry over you!

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A woman walks into the kitchen to see her husband cooking dinner because gender stereotypes have been dead for years.

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an man of hispanic descent ran into a pole his white friends proceeded to laugh at him not because he was in pain, but because he was different

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What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm A nimals

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What did one wall say to the other wall? Nothing. Walls are inanimate objects and thus incapable of conversing with one another.

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Why did the 15 year old commit suicide? Because his parents and 3 sisters died in a car accident and he went to live with his uncle, who constantly raped him.

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ask me if im a door yes

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When did the ball-room finally close? Closing time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops