My mother has great posture. She's paralyzed from the neck down.

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why can't timmy tie his shoes? Because timmy's an earth-worm

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Your momma is so dumb she'd starve if she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store. -Actually my mom has a pHD in Nutritional Science. If she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store, she'd utilize that knowledge to maintain a balanced diet until a way was made available for her to return home.

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How did the black guy get knocked out? He was hit by a fridge.

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What do the snake and the bird have in common? They can both fly, except for the snake...

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I told my grandmother to act her age.... she then died

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why does pink turn into blue it doesnt you just get hit by a frigde because you cried whe you got shot several times

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Q: what r u eating under there? A: underwear ewww thats nasty

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Why did the car catch fire? It was parked in Ferguson, MO

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it wanted ti get to to other side. why did the medic cross the road? beacause there was a seriously injured chiken on the side of the road, it had been hit by a fat man on a jog

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Why did the boy kill his parents? Because he doesn't understand this joke either

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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laughter is the best medicine, unless you have cancer, then you will die.

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Why do white people drive big trucks? 'Cause they can afford it.

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whats worse than getting lost in europe? becoming the middle in the human centipede.

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What happened when Susie fell off the Ferris Wheel? There was an open seat.

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Two carnivorous dinosaurs get into a fight. Carnage ensues and many baby dinosaur eggs are stomped on, and in the end they both die.

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They say time heals all wounds, yet my leg still had to be amputated.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A black man walks into a sporting goods store and pulls out a gun! Then he returns it and leaves.

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An Irishman, a Jew, an Asian, and a Priest all walk into a bar This is an example of a well-balanced community

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What do you get when you cross a gay eskimo and a black man? Nothing, as two male humans cannot reproduce.

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Adam eats ginger nuts the fookin chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops