did you hear about the fly on the toilet? i heard he got pissed off!

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How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

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I'm at a payphone. Though I'm out of change so I'm unable to call my girlfriend and break up with her.

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What's the difference between a hipster and a steaming pile of shit? Many things.

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What has hands but isn't alive? A dead person.

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why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

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TOP KEK

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Lasers are red, Tasers are blue, and I will use them, to kill you!

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you cant spell slaughter withought laughter

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Knock knock knock OCD

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Q: What did the little jewish boy get for his birthday in 1940? A: The holocaust.

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A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

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Robin, get in the car!

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Why does a squirrel have the tail at the back? Because at the front it's the squirrel.

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What's the difference between a sewer pipe and a French fry? A lot

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Why did the donkey say "Shit sorry I had no idea" Because the batteries shouted: "Nobody told me about your actions here, sorry for the terrible coding format, I am new"

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Your momma's so not fat that when a school bus rolled by here house, she just sat there and turned on oprah.

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What did Justin beiber get for Christmas? A dildo.

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Why were you in an igloo? I don't know, why were you?

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What is black, can fly and sing? R. Kelly.. "I believe I can fly"

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What's wet and sticky? I don't know, glue or something.

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Why didn't the lady answer the phone? She is deaf and mute.

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A dimetrodon, a pterosaur and a chicken walk into a bar. As they enter, the bartender says "Hold it! We are not licensed to serve dinosaurs." "I am not a dinosaur," said the dimetrodon. "Neither am I," said the pterosaur. "But I am," said the chicken. So the dimetrodon and the pterosaur enjoyed a cold beer each, but the chicken had to wait outside.

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what is the difference between oral and anal? anal makes your day and anal makes your whole weak

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops