Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The farmer decided it was too cruel to fence in the animal, however getting run over by a car was a fate... not worse than death because it died.

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What is long and painful? It's a sword, get your mind out of the gutter.

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Where does Charlie Sheen buy his clothes? Winners

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A Jewish man walkes into grocery store. He buys some groceries, and leaves.

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Q: Whats better than not being a Jew? A: Being a Jew.

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

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That awkward moment where all you want for Christmas is for your parents to get back together but then you realize that they died in a car crash

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Whats Worse then finding a worm in your apple. Finding a real joke on anti-joke.com

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What would happen if you insulted Chuck Norris' mother? Considering you did it on a messageboard that only unemployed people with no social lives use, nothing.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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What did one skeleton say to the other? Nothing... Skeletons don't have vocal cords

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roses are blue violets red im color blind vatalk is gay

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what did the rapist say to the girl? get in the van

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Why did the black guy die... Herpees he didn't practice safe sex

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Q. Where's your nan???? A. In my closet

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An Octopus walked into a bar. He then died as he had been out of his natural habitat for an exceedingly long period of time. An octopus can only survive on land for 30 minutes.

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why did you read this anti-joke? because you typed in antijoke on google or have the app on a phone

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What do you call a mexican and a African? Two people with no water.

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i have no friends actually now i fell bad ... anybody spare money for the bus ahhhhhhh kill me now

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Poker? I barely even know her.

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Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

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way do Japan bomb pearl harbor because America hat sex with China [watch Hetalia]

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What did the monkey say to the lion? I'm being sexually abused by my handler, and feel so violated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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