What did the monkey say to the lion? I'm being sexually abused by my handler, and feel so violated.

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If your Jewish, then don't go to Germany.

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What do you call a mexican and a African? Two people with no water.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? ?? She had just prepared her breakfast and was late for her full-time job as a police officer.

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What has hands but can't clap? - A Quadraplegic

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why did you read this anti-joke? because you typed in antijoke on google or have the app on a phone

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way do Japan bomb pearl harbor because America hat sex with China [watch Hetalia]

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i have no friends actually now i fell bad ... anybody spare money for the bus ahhhhhhh kill me now

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Friends are just like trees. They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Your mama's so fat that when she farted, gas came out!

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Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork. Whats better than catching a baby with a pitchfork? Eating it afterwords.

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what did the rapist say to the girl? get in the van

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Why did the black guy die... Herpees he didn't practice safe sex

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Laughter is the best medicine. No, Heroin is.

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An Octopus walked into a bar. He then died as he had been out of his natural habitat for an exceedingly long period of time. An octopus can only survive on land for 30 minutes.

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Q. Where's your nan???? A. In my closet

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A lawyer walks into a bar, and due to the repercussions of severe head trauma was never able to do so again.

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I stabbed a person. No seriously, I just stabbed them. There's no punchline. Just Just Stab wounds.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a canoe? Canoes weren't killed by Hitler

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Why did I get thumbs up from everyone? Answer: Because they like my anti-joke.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was playing tic-tac-toe with a friend.

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Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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