What do you call a cow with no legs A cow with no legs.

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what smells like a rose bud? a rose, bud.

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What do you get when you put your dick in a potato? A guy who is into creepy sex

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What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

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A Haiku It Is This One Is Kind Of Boring Now It's Time For Bed

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Why did the asain fail his tests? They weren't math tests...

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A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share private information with a stranger.

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Little Brianna has a special body part. That's why I kidnapped and sexually assaulted her.

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when chuck norris does a pushup, he is tearing the muscles in his biceps, deltoids, core, and triceps in order to make them stronger.

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Connor is such a dope, he doesn't even know Betty White jokes aren't funny.

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Why did the clown get in the car? Because he can.

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thumbs up if you want 10 dollars to ya paypal.. email me @ sickguy42@hotmail.com

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What has two legs and two arms? A Human

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A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar and the bartender says: "Where would you like to sit, gentlemen"?

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because it is a horse and doesn't understand English. It gets confused about it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, upending a few tables along the way.

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Q.What do you call a friend with benefits? A. a buck fuddy.

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a blond makes out with ron every sunday and she stops every time to remember that she put the cheese in the wrong compartment brick house cheese is sad!

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In an effort to bond, the American president and North Korean Supreme Leader place a bet on a football game. If the President was correct, the Supreme Leader would have to buy them a drink, and vice versa. The game is close but in the end the President's bet wins. He asks for the drink, but the Supreme Leader refuses. An argument breaks out, and lasts for several hours. Eventually the Supreme Leader becomes too infuriated, and leaves. So the next day, North Korea declares war on America and launches nuclear missiles towards them, millions of lives are lost, and the world descends into anarchy.

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Q: What did hitler say to his generals? a: In a circumstance as the one we have found ourselves in. Eliminating our most threatening of enemies would be very logical. Unless they were of the superior race therefore, it may be frowned apon by our low ranked comrades. Causing another assasionation attempt on myself. So in conclusion I believe eliminating a rich and intelligent race far more superior than our own, would be the best way to go. So collect the Jews of Warsaw and we might have a chance.

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What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

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A black man walks into a bank with a gun and askes where the safe is then procedes to shoots 3 white men inside of it. Everyone thanks him for stopping the armed bank robbers and he lives out the rest of his life in happiness for he is a hardworking cop and risks his life to save others.

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There is a wizard standing on a street corner. A boy walks up to the wizard and says, "Can you turn invisible?" The wizard replies, "Oh, I'm not a wizard. I'm a hobo with a long beard and a bathrobe." The hobo then proceeded to begging the boy for money.

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You can't choose your family, so choose someone else's.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops